Most people think transformation starts with a breakthrough.
It doesn’t.
It starts with a moment of uncomfortable honesty—usually hard—where you acknowledge the impact you’re having before you’ve figured out how to fix it.
Before the plan.
Before the resolution.
Before everything is neat and tidy.
That moment is where real change begins.

How We Waste Our Own Energy

There’s a sneaky way we slow ourselves down while convincing ourselves we’re being responsible: we give tasks more time than they actually need.
Parkinson’s Law explains it well—work expands to fill the time available. Give yourself all afternoon for something that really needs forty‑five minutes, and it will somehow take all afternoon.
Not because it’s important—but because time is there to be filled.

More tweaking.
More re‑reading.
More “just one more pass.”

It looks like diligence, but it’s often avoidance wearing a professional mask.

A simple way to break this pattern is to shrink the container:

• Decide how much time the task actually deserves
• Define what “done” means before you start
• Stop when the time is up

Then ask yourself:
If I only had half this time, what would I cut?

That answer usually reveals what matters—and what doesn’t.

When Procrastination Stops Being Just About You
Avoiding a task is one thing.
Avoiding a person is another.
It often starts small: an undone task, an unread message, a promise you meant to follow through on. Then someone follows up. They’re frustrated. Maybe disappointed.

Now you’re not just avoiding the task—you’re avoiding the emotional weight attached to it.
The silence grows. The task feels heavier. The relationship starts to strain.
Most people don’t get stuck here because they don’t care. They get stuck because they care deeply—and don’t know how to move without making things worse.
But avoidance doesn’t protect relationships. It quietly damages them.

Responsibility Comes Before the Resolution
Here’s the shift that changes everything: You don’t have to fix the problem to acknowledge the impact.

You can separate responsibility from resolution.
A simple message can stop the spiral:
“I know I’ve dropped the ball on this, and I can see why you’re frustrated. I’m working on it, but I wanted to acknowledge that.”
No excuses.
No over‑explaining.
No promises you can’t keep.
Just ownership.
That alone reduces tension, restores trust, and makes the actual work easier to approach.
Then, instead of trying to “finish everything,” focus on motion:
What’s the smallest next step you can take today?

This Is What Real Growth Looks Like
Transformation isn’t about being flawless.
It’s about being honest sooner.
You don’t have to be finished to be accountable.
You don’t have to be confident to be responsible.
You don’t have to have clarity to take the next step.
Avoidance drains energy. Responsibility restores it.

A Simple Reset Practice
When worry pulls you into the future, try this:
Ask:
Is this preparing me—or just exhausting me?
Remember:
Think of one thing you once worried about that either never happened or turned out manageable.
Refocus:
Choose one small action you can take right now instead of rehearsing tomorrow’s problems.
Transformation doesn’t live in grand resolutions.
It lives in responsibility—taken early, honestly, and often.

In the end, transformation isn’t about fixing everything at once.
It’s about shortening the gap between impact and ownership. When you take responsibility early—before you’re certain, before you’re resolved—you stop draining energy through avoidance and start restoring trust, momentum, and clarity. You don’t need perfect timing or perfect answers. You just need honesty, a willingness to acknowledge what’s real, and the courage to take the next small step. Responsibility doesn’t come after change. It’s what makes change possible.

​Photo: Emma White - Emma's Boutique Colour

Rethinking “Goals”—Finding Your Word for Growth
Let’s be honest: the word “goals” can make people cringe. For some, it brings up memories of abandoned New Year’s resolutions, pressure to achieve, or a sense of falling short. Maybe you’ve even rolled your eyes at the idea of goal setting, feeling like it’s just another box to tick or a source of stress.

But what if we reframed the conversation? Instead of “goals,” think about outcomes, intentions, priorities, or even “wins.” Whatever you want to call them, this process isn’t about rigid achievement—it’s about alignment, clarity, and being really honest about what you need this year.

Setting intentions is a way to pause and ask yourself: What matters most right now? What do I want to experience, create, or change? It’s not about perfection or pressure—it’s about choosing a direction that feels true to you and taking the next honest step forward.
As you read on, remember this is your journey. Use whatever language resonates with you, and let this be a season of clarity, alignment, and authentic progress.
 
Why Yearly Intentions Matter

Setting yearly intentions is more than just making a list of goals—it’s about choosing a direction for your life and committing to what matters most. Unlike rigid resolutions, intentions invite you to reflect on your values, priorities, and the experiences you want to create. They help you pause and ask: What do I truly need this year?
Yearly intentions provide clarity and alignment. When you take the time to define what you want to focus on, you create a roadmap for growth and fulfilment. Even if plans change or life takes unexpected turns, your intentions serve as a compass, guiding you back to what feels authentic and meaningful.
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Committing to yearly intentions also builds resilience and self-trust. The act of setting intentions—whether they’re big or small—reminds you that progress is made one honest step at a time. It’s not about perfection, but about showing up for yourself and moving forward with purpose. Ultimately, yearly intentions matter because they help you live with greater awareness and intention. They encourage you to be honest about your needs, embrace change, and celebrate the journey of becoming who you want to be.

Why Our Intentions Matter—and Why They Must Reflect Who We Are

Yearly intentions are more than just a list of things to accomplish—they are a reflection of our deepest values, our sense of self, and our vision for who we want to become. When we set intentions that truly align with our core beliefs, we create a commanding foundation for growth, fulfilment, and resilience.

Intentions matter because they act as a compass, guiding us through the year with clarity and purpose. When our intentions are rooted in our authentic selves, they help us make choices that feel meaningful and true, even when life gets unpredictable. Instead of chasing goals that are imposed by others or shaped by external pressures, we focus on what genuinely matters to us—our values, priorities, and the experiences we want to create.
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Aligning our intentions with our core values ensures that our actions and decisions reflect who we are at our best. It encourages us to pause and ask: What do I truly need this year? What kind of person do I want to be? What values do I want to embody in my daily life?
This process isn’t about perfection or rigid achievement—it’s about honest progress, self-trust, and the courage to move forward, one step at a time. When our intentions are authentic, we build resilience and confidence, knowing that each step we take is aligned with our true selves.

Ultimately, setting intentions that reflect who we are and who we want to become helps us live with greater awareness, integrity, and joy. It’s an invitation to embrace change, celebrate growth, and honour the journey of becoming the person we aspire to be.
 

​Photo: Emma White - Emma's Boutique Colour

Welcoming the New Year with Intention and Clarity

As the new year approaches, I find myself pausing to ask a simple yet profound question: Who am I choosing to become?
This moment, right at the threshold of a new beginning, is a powerful opportunity to get clear and intentional about the path ahead.
One practice I invite you to try is writing down three goals—one for the next three months, one for six months, and one for the year ahead. This simple act creates focus and gently pulls you toward the life you truly want to live. Remember, even if things don’t unfold exactly as planned, the commitment itself builds confidence, resilience, and trust in yourself.
Let this season be about alignment, clarity, and taking the next honest step forward. Whether your goals are big or small, what matters most is the intention behind them and the courage to move forward, one step at a time.

The Power of Three Wins: Intellectual, Spiritual, and Physical Goals

As you set your intentions for the new year, consider adopting the “three wins per day” approach. This method encourages you to put one goal in each of three domains: intellectual, spiritual, and physical. By focusing on these areas, you create a balanced foundation for growth and fulfilment.

Intellectual Win:
Choose a goal that stimulates your mind. This could be reading a chapter of a book, learning something new, solving a challenging problem, or dedicating time to creative thinking. Intellectual goals keep you curious and engaged, helping you expand your knowledge and perspective.

Spiritual Win:
Set an intention that nurtures your inner self. This might involve meditation, practising gratitude, connecting with nature, or reflecting on your values. Spiritual goals foster a sense of peace, purpose, and connection—reminding you to pause and align with what matters most.

Physical Win:
Commit to an action that supports your body’s well-being. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a workout, mindful stretching, or simply drinking enough water, physical goals energise you and build resilience. They remind you that progress is made not just in thought, but in movement.

If You’re Stuck: Start with Three Yearly Goals or Wins
If you’re feeling stuck or unsure where to begin, use the three domains—intellectual, spiritual, and physical—as prompts to set your yearly goals. Ask yourself: What’s one thing I want to achieve or experience in each area over the next twelve months? Maybe it’s mastering a new skill, deepening your mindfulness practice, or improving your physical health.
Once you’ve written these down, let them guide your daily intentions. Break each big goal into smaller, manageable actions and incorporate them into your “three wins per day” practice. This way, your yearly vision becomes part of your everyday rhythm, helping you move forward with clarity and purpose, even when motivation feels hard to find.
 
Now break it down again to these areas each day.
By writing down these three wins each day, you create a rhythm of intentional living. Over time, these small, consistent actions compound, guiding you toward a year of clarity, alignment, and honest progress.

Daily Three Wins Template

Date: ______________________

Intellectual Win
What will I do today to stimulate my mind?
Example: Read a chapter of a book, learn something new, solve a problem, or spend time on creative thinking.

My goal for today: _______________________________________

Spiritual Win
How will I nurture my inner self today?
Example: Meditate, practice gratitude, connect with nature, reflect on values, or journal.

My goal for today: _______________________________________

Physical Win
What action will I take to support my body’s well-being?
Example: Go for a walk, exercise, stretch, drink enough water, or eat nourishing food.

My goal for today: _______________________________________
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Reflection:
At the end of the day, take a moment to reflect:

• Did I achieve my three wins?
• How did each goal make me feel?
• What will I carry forward into tomorrow?

Photo: Emma White - Emma's Boutique Colour

Why Gratitude and Reflection Are Essential to Your Wins

Gratitude and reflection are the anchors that keep your journey toward your goals grounded and meaningful. Practising gratitude helps you recognise the progress you’ve made and appreciate the support and small victories along the way. It shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s abundant, fuelling motivation and resilience even when challenges arise.
Reflection, meanwhile, allows you to pause and genuinely acknowledge your efforts, recognize growth, and learn from your experiences. By regularly tracking your progress, you gain clarity about what’s working and where you can improve, ensuring that your pursuit of goals is not just about moving forward, but moving forward with purpose and self-awareness.
Together, gratitude and reflection help you celebrate each win, stay motivated, and persevere—making your journey this year more intentional, rewarding, and true to who you are.

Practising gratitude regularly nurtures resilience and motivation. It reminds you of the progress you’ve made, the support you have, and the small wins that often go unnoticed. By reflecting on what you’re grateful for, you build a foundation of positivity that makes it easier to persevere when setbacks occur.
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Gratitude also deepens your connection to your values and intentions. It encourages you to celebrate growth, honour your efforts, and recognise the meaningful moments along your journey. Ultimately, gratitude is essential because it keeps you grounded, helps you maintain perspective, and inspires you to keep moving forward with clarity and self-trust.
Reflection is essential because it allows you to pause and genuinely acknowledge your efforts, recognise growth, and learn from your experiences. By regularly tracking your progress, you gain clarity about what’s working and where you can improve, which helps keep your motivation strong and your goals in sight. This practice ensures you’re not just moving forward but moving forward with purpose and self-awareness.

​As I wrap up this post, my greatest hope is that you feel encouraged to set your eyes on your own wins and start living for what truly matters to you. May these ideas help you create a space where motivation and perseverance thrive, even when you get knocked down. Remember, progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up for yourself, embracing each honest step, and continuing to move forward with courage and self-trust. If you keep getting back up, you’re already winning. Here’s to a year of alignment, clarity, and unstoppable momentum—no matter what comes your way.
 
Blessings.

Recently I have been struggling with the element and expectation of explaining.
I have recently got this space, really wrong on several occasions.
But it's so hard.
I decided to write an open letter to myself addressing my own frustrations about my shortcomings, but my disappointment in a culture, making this hard.

Dear World,

I hope this letter finds you well, as I sit here grappling with a feeling of disparity that has weighed heavily on my heart. Today, I write to you about an unspoken expectation that has become pervasive in our society—one that demands explanations yet fails to afford respect or understanding when those explanations are not forthcoming.

In this world we inhabit, it appears as though one's individuality often takes a backseat to the incessant need for justification.

I just struggle so much between, knowing I must and need to take accountability, which I need to do when I am at fault, and having to pander and cater to other people's insecurities sounding my choices.

For me, and I dear say the collective society, we find ourselves caught in a puzzling paradox where expressing our choices or decisions is not always enough; we are constantly expected to delve into meticulous explanations, defending the very essence of our lives.
But when we do we are oversharing.
We then become guilty of oversharing, and potentially harming others, who might not be able to receive all data and information.

Amidst this quest for understanding, it seems evident that society has lost touch with the essence of empathy and mutual respect. We have become absorbed in our own egos, forgetting that each person’s journey is unique, layered with complexities that cannot always be neatly summed up in words. While explanations can shed light and bridge gaps in comprehension, we must acknowledge that they are not always feasible, logical, or even necessary.

But somehow, we again collectively cater to this, over-explaining. If you don't you are not communicating enough, if you do you suddenly burden people. But again and again, we are subjected to this merry-go-round.

Sometimes, the weight we carry can be overwhelming, suffocating even. We cannot always articulate the intricacies of our emotions, the deep-rooted reasons behind our choices, or the turmoil that resides within us. In these moments, we long for compassion, patience, and support, rather than the doubts, judgments, or lack of trust that often materialize when our explanations fall short.

It is important to recognize that no one truly knows the breadth of another's experience. We are all inherently flawed, susceptible to moments of confusion, doubt, or simply the inability to articulate ourselves adequately. Therefore, it is crucial to foster a culture that values the honesty behind silence as much as it does comprehensive explanations.

Expectation is the death of another personal choice, and although we are also not exempt from the consequences of our actions, good or bad. However making people conform to "expectations" muddies the water of humanity, connection, empathy, and ownership of personal choice.

Let us begin by acknowledging that an absence of explanation doesn't equate to a lack of importance or consideration. Instead of imposing our own expectations onto others, let us embrace empathy and grace. Allow us to acknowledge that everyone's journey is unique, and that our own assumptions and judgments may hinder the understanding we seek.

Look at the fruits of their character and life, and if this does not align with us, then move on to those people, who are your tribe. Not everyone is your tribe and that's ok.

When someone cannot explain their reasons, if something happens unexpectedly, instead of dismissing them, let us pause and offer our support. Or maybe just give things time to work themselves out.
Sometimes, lending a listening ear, extending a kind gesture, simply showing solidarity, or waiting to see how something pans out, can be more impactful than any explanation given. By leaning into compassion, we can foster an environment that allows for growth, respect, and ultimately, a deeper mutual understanding.

So, Dear World, let us strive for empathy amidst the clamor of expectations. By cherishing one another's stories, and experiences, and even the difficulty in explaining them, we can cultivate a society fortified by respect, understanding, and the recognition that sometimes, a compassionate heart needs no explanation.

Yours sincerely,

A member of humanity,
( who works in the mental health realm, with more education on this subject than some and less than others. But is sitting here today still genuinely confused and still is missing the mark and lost here.)

“Remember this could be your butterfly moment” Topaz
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​

So, Hello......
I want to introduce myself.  My name is Emma, and I am a Life Coach; Also a Hope therapist, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Coach.

​My passion is to help and serve my community in the mental health field. I have a desire for everyone, and I want everyone to know they are worth something.

A very strong part of my heart is dedicated to Return Service Personnel due to Family and friends. The next area I love and care for deeply is Rural Mental health. My Family has nearly all worked on the land, so I have seen firsthand the stress this can bring to people. I don’t always have clients from these areas, but I work tirelessly to improve these spaces. Equally, being a rural coach, I see many different people, so my work is very diverse and rewarding. I help anyone, from housewives to farmers to those who live in busy high-rise buildings.

My calling is to help, and I help people from all over Australia, even maybe on a global scale.

My job is to be a space to hold the thoughts of others safely and help assist them in becoming the best versions of themselves. While showing them, they have value.

My work is about promoting self-worth, self-acceptance, and showing my clients that you can change. It just comes down to patterns and behaviors.
 
That aside, I feel like I must share my story as to why I became a Coach.



​
I became a Life Coach after I had a mental breakdown and was struggling. I was suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety, and Depression. These led me to be suicidal after some really horrifying events when I was younger. I finally got the help I needed and found an amazing Psychologist who led me down the path of CBT, and encouraged me to start my journey of self-discovery and my best life.

She was a Godsend. I remember that first meeting with her, and I felt like I had hope again.
I went home and felt so much relief and lighter than I had in years.  I had not felt this way for such a long time, 

A little while down the track, when I was starting to get a bit better, I came across “The Happiness Project” – by Gretchen Rubin, which, if you have not read it, I would suggest reading it. This book is about Gretchen deciding to ask herself a question, “What do I want from life, anyway?” She answered, “I want to be happy.” Her book is about how she embarked on a project to be happier. It really opened my eyes, and I resonated so much with this book. I felt like I had no happiness. I had been nothing for such a long time.

So, I thought I would try to do my own happiness project.
Which I did, and I learned a lot.
Then I got stuck again.

I then read a book called - The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris, which explains why we can’t look to feel happy all the time due to life and all the circumstances it throws at us. Which is why I was struggling.
 
Down the track a bit more, I was given a book by a stranger called “Switch On Your Brain” by Dr Caroline Leaf.  Which was terrific; it changed my whole life.

At that time, I was pretty low again, not as low as before but really lost. I wanted to be happy again but could not work out how to be satisfied and work through life, as life is not a wish-granting factory all the time. But I had a few roadblocks, and I was missing something. I did not know how to stay happy.

Then after reading Caroline’s book, I started to learn more about my brain and how to do life better, constantly, which had been the missing piece of the puzzle. In all reality, I should have read her book first, then,  The Happiness Trap, then The Happiness Project, because that is the order I have found to become my model of care with my clients.

I discovered that......
"we need to aim to foster a life of contentment, practice gratitude, cultivate Joy, and have hope. Then the other emotions like happiness come along." The Butterfly Proposal - (my book).


I discovered that I like most people was a metaphoric butterfly. Hence the name. Because on my journey, I found a lot of comfort in how a butterfly becomes a butterfly. It was just like me. It went through darkness and pain to break through as a beautiful, unique vessel of value. All of the things I wished and slowly found.
I decided on the Proposal part of the name because that is all it is. My methods and coaching only transform people when they choose to take up the proposal. Because in the world of mental health and life in general, we have to decide to change. There is no magic pill, no magic wand; we always have to ultimately decide.
 
Outside of that, I came up with the name originally for my book, which then grew into the business and name.

One day I told one of my friends about my journey when I was a lot better, and they said knowing parts of my story. “You should write a book about your mental health journey, outside of the bit of help from the shrink you have mostly done it yourself.”  At that moment, I realized I wanted to not  just help others like what I had done; all my life. I wanted to be a Life Coach and specifically help others help themselves. Thus was born my passion for Life Coaching.  I wanted to do what that Psychologist had done for me. I wanted to give people hope. I wanted to touch people’s lives and show them that their lives mattered.


So, I did.

I set about on my studying career, as I call it. Became a Certified Life Coach with counseling flares on the piece of paper, which took me five years to achieve while working full-time. I was literally living on coffee, but I somehow got through it. Halfway through my Life Coaching study, I started to study CBT.  Then later, I came across more studies and embarked on the journey to become a certified Hope therapist. So, now I am both.

In this time, I wrote the book, as well. My book will one day be published, but that is another story for another day. I am just sitting on it. I have endeavored publishing outlets, but none of them feel right yet. I also found of recent, occasionally I go back to it and add little things and subtract things. As it is, it is back to being once again a, working progress. Where once I thought it was finished, it is now ongoing until further notice. Which is beautifully accurate to mental health and the better self-journey; it is never-ending.
However, one day my book will be ready.

So, stay tuned. It will be an excellent resource to help people.

Fast forward to now. This is what I do.
I live the life I only dreamed about. I have been blogging on my Instagram for a while, The Butterfly Proposal.  Now I have a website finally, and you will see my work helping people in both places. I just want to get as many resources and wisdom out into the world, not just Australia, but beyond these big blue skies, and help as many other people as possible.
 
All those years ago, that young blonde woman who had all these big dreams to change her life and then decide to try and help others: is slowly succeeding. My life now is dedicated to making a difference. I intend to use this blog to share what I have discovered along the way;  and what I am still learning to help others.

Outside of Life Coaching and Hope Therapy, I am also a wellness coach, which allows me to look after the whole person, from fitness right through to food choices.  Because mental health and living our best lives all overlap, and we are just a system of systems, so I really love holistically helping people.

Outside of all the Coaching, I am an artist and often use Art Therapy in my practice as a tool. I am actually in the middle of embarking on my art therapy studies. I live in Rural Australia, and I am a Christian. I have a wonderful family and an extraordinary partner named Tim. I enjoy writing and publish works on platforms frequently. I love horses, visiting the beach occasionally,  collecting life, and learning how to help others do the same. 

​So, that is me.. and my story. I look forward to sharing my heart with you and many resources and tools to help you endeavor down the path of your best life and self. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, as well.
Au Revoir, for now. 

Remember, it takes a toolbox to be our best selves; it is not just one thing that helps us; it is a collective of tools and the attitude to be better every day.