October 24th, 2023

Recently I have been struggling with the element and expectation of explaining.
I have recently got this space, really wrong on several occasions.
But it's so hard.
I decided to write an open letter to myself addressing my own frustrations about my shortcomings, but my disappointment in a culture, making this hard.

Dear World,

I hope this letter finds you well, as I sit here grappling with a feeling of disparity that has weighed heavily on my heart. Today, I write to you about an unspoken expectation that has become pervasive in our society—one that demands explanations yet fails to afford respect or understanding when those explanations are not forthcoming.

In this world we inhabit, it appears as though one's individuality often takes a backseat to the incessant need for justification.

I just struggle so much between, knowing I must and need to take accountability, which I need to do when I am at fault, and having to pander and cater to other people's insecurities sounding my choices.

For me, and I dear say the collective society, we find ourselves caught in a puzzling paradox where expressing our choices or decisions is not always enough; we are constantly expected to delve into meticulous explanations, defending the very essence of our lives.
But when we do we are oversharing.
We then become guilty of oversharing, and potentially harming others, who might not be able to receive all data and information.

Amidst this quest for understanding, it seems evident that society has lost touch with the essence of empathy and mutual respect. We have become absorbed in our own egos, forgetting that each person’s journey is unique, layered with complexities that cannot always be neatly summed up in words. While explanations can shed light and bridge gaps in comprehension, we must acknowledge that they are not always feasible, logical, or even necessary.

But somehow, we again collectively cater to this, over-explaining. If you don't you are not communicating enough, if you do you suddenly burden people. But again and again, we are subjected to this merry-go-round.

Sometimes, the weight we carry can be overwhelming, suffocating even. We cannot always articulate the intricacies of our emotions, the deep-rooted reasons behind our choices, or the turmoil that resides within us. In these moments, we long for compassion, patience, and support, rather than the doubts, judgments, or lack of trust that often materialize when our explanations fall short.

It is important to recognize that no one truly knows the breadth of another's experience. We are all inherently flawed, susceptible to moments of confusion, doubt, or simply the inability to articulate ourselves adequately. Therefore, it is crucial to foster a culture that values the honesty behind silence as much as it does comprehensive explanations.

Expectation is the death of another personal choice, and although we are also not exempt from the consequences of our actions, good or bad. However making people conform to "expectations" muddies the water of humanity, connection, empathy, and ownership of personal choice.

Let us begin by acknowledging that an absence of explanation doesn't equate to a lack of importance or consideration. Instead of imposing our own expectations onto others, let us embrace empathy and grace. Allow us to acknowledge that everyone's journey is unique, and that our own assumptions and judgments may hinder the understanding we seek.

Look at the fruits of their character and life, and if this does not align with us, then move on to those people, who are your tribe. Not everyone is your tribe and that's ok.

When someone cannot explain their reasons, if something happens unexpectedly, instead of dismissing them, let us pause and offer our support. Or maybe just give things time to work themselves out.
Sometimes, lending a listening ear, extending a kind gesture, simply showing solidarity, or waiting to see how something pans out, can be more impactful than any explanation given. By leaning into compassion, we can foster an environment that allows for growth, respect, and ultimately, a deeper mutual understanding.

So, Dear World, let us strive for empathy amidst the clamor of expectations. By cherishing one another's stories, and experiences, and even the difficulty in explaining them, we can cultivate a society fortified by respect, understanding, and the recognition that sometimes, a compassionate heart needs no explanation.

Yours sincerely,

A member of humanity,
( who works in the mental health realm, with more education on this subject than some and less than others. But is sitting here today still genuinely confused and still is missing the mark and lost here.)